Hilson

Hilson is a combination of the names House and Wilson and refers to the two doctors being romantically interested in each other.

Hilson is not a canon relationship, so when a brief Hilson moment occurs in an episode. Fanfiction is also a popular outlet for the hopeful Hilson fans who are unsatisfied with House and Wilson's current "just friends" relationship.

However, in The Down Low (the episode title African-American slang for seeking out homosexual sex), the residents of Wilson's new condo become convinced that House and Wilson are in a relationship and House plays into their misconceptions.

Quotes

Season 1

"Wilson: That smugness of yours really is an attractive quality.
House: Thank you. It was either that or get my hair highlighted. Smugness is easier to maintain."

―Occam's Razor

"Wilson: I’ve got no kids, my marriage sucks; I’ve only got two things that work for me: this job and this stupid, screwed-up friendship, and neither mattered enough to you to give one lousy speech.
House: They mattered."

―Babies & Bathwater

Season 2

"House: I am not treating you.
Kalvin: What, because you're a closet-case?
Wilson: Err... we're not... err... together.
House: He is so self-loathing."

―Hunting

"Stacy: If Chase screwed up so badly, why didn't you fire him?
House: He has great hair.
Stacy: What are you hiding?
House: I'm gay. Oh... that's not what you meant. It does explain a lot though. No girlfriend, always with Wilson, obsession with sneakers."

―The Mistake

"House: Hey honey, how are the kids? They miss me?"

―Failure to Communicate

"House: You blow dry your hair?
Wilson: Oh, sorry, did I wake you up?
House: You blow dry your hair?!"

―Clueless

Season 3

"Wilson: Fine, you've known him since Cub Scouts. The more interesting question isn't what you dreamed but why? I'm guessing you're longing for either a renewed relationship with your dad or a new relationship with one of the Village People.
House: He was in the Navy not the Marines.
Wilson: I thought your dad was in the Marines?
House: The guy in the Village People.
Wilson: Actually he's only in the Navy when they sang, In The Navy. The rest of the time he's just in generic fatigues. What? You brought it up!"

―Top Secret

Season 4

"Wilson: Just looking at you hurts. I'm going to order up some extra pain meds.
House: I love you."

―97 Seconds

"House: This isn't just about the sex. You like her personality. You like that she's conniving. You like that she has no regard for consequences. You like that she can humiliate someone if it serves— Oh my God. You're sleeping with me."

―Don't Ever Change

"Wilson: House, you're right. Why not? Why not date you? It's brilliant. We've known each other for years. We've put up with all kinds of crap from each other. And we keep coming back. We're a couple."

―Don't Ever Change

"Wilson: Well, if you'd looked at me with those flashing eyes before I was involved...."

―Don't Ever Change

Season 5

"House: Have you checked the prices for firemen strippers recently?
Wilson: Yes."

―Joy to the World

"Amber: That might explain why you're hallucinating, doesn't explain why you're hallucinating Wilson's dead girlfriend.
House: Probably because of my secret and very unconscious desire to get Wilson into my bedroom."

―House Divided

Season 6

"Garney: It can be tough sometimes.
House: I'm not gay.
Garney: Oh, neither am I.
House: Actually, I am. See that guy over there? He's my lover. He's also my psychiatrist, which some would argue is a little inappropriate, but they just don't know what love is. Am I right?"

―Broken

"House: Back off. People already think we're gay."

―Broken

"Cameron: You know how House feels about people touching his ball.
Foreman: No, Chase refuses to tell me.
Cameron: Right, my husband's gay. Witty."

―Epic Fail

"House: You already made me get a roommate. Wilson's got one bedroom. I don't think we can get any more connected without unzipping."

―Epic Fail

"Wilson: Roll your meatballs and keep an open mind. How hard are you trying not to make a ball joke right now?
House: They're smoking. Your balls.
Wilson: Oh. No, no. They're browning way too fast.
House: Blue's the color you gotta watch out for."

―Epic Fail

"Wilson: You might have saved my balls.
House: That's the spirit!"

―Epic Fail

"Wilson: Did you even go to bed last night?
House: Bed is for sissies. Unless you're having sex, in which case... No, bed is still for sissies."

―Epic Fail

"Wilson: You were enjoying cooking.
House: How like a man to think that I enjoy slaving over a hot stove all day while you're off banging secretaries."

―Epic Fail

"House: If you wanted a quickie, you should have called ahead."

―Epic Fail

"House: Hide your eyes, ladies.
Cuddy: House.
House: You, too."

―Epic Fail

"House: Hi, honey. How was your day?"

―The Tyrant

"House: Oh, unfortunately, I'm overdue on a mani-pedi appointment."

―Instant Karma

"Thirteen: Are you here to try to save my relationship with Foreman?
House: God, no. I'm trying to save my relationship with Foreman."

―Instant Karma

"Wilson: Because you're not as big a jerk as everyone thinks.
House: Yes, I am.
Wilson: No, you're not."

―Instant Karma

"Nora: So if you have any more questions about the neighborhood, I'm your girl.
Wilson: Uh, favorite sushi place. Maybe we could get dinner sometime.
Nora: Sure... if you promise to bring that good-looking guy with the cane.
Wilson: You mean House?
Nora: Your boyfriend's name is House?
Wilson: H–he's not my boyfriend.
Nora: Oh... Heh, I'm sorry. Wh-what do you call each other? Husband? Partner? Lover?
Wilson: We're not gay.
Nora: Seriously?"

―The Down Low

"Wilson: Everyone in our building thinks we're gay.
House: We're grown men over the age of 30 who moved in together. We're two tigers away from an act in Vegas."

―The Down Low

"House: And a woman would only reject you because she's worried that you might not be interested in her.
Wilson: We were chatting, having fun. There was definitely a spark.
House: When she thought you were gay. What is a culotte, anyway?
Wilson: Pants that hang like a skirt."

―The Down Low

"House: I hear you thought that Wilson and I liked to polish each other's swords. And by swords, I mean pistols.
Nora: Of course he told you about that.
House: Oh, don't worry. Actually, I'm surprised that doesn't happen more often. We're both straight. Oh, my... God, that is beautiful. We finally have the room to display it the way it deserves. Would you – would you help me get this upstairs?
Nora: Absolutely.
House: Nice shoes, by the way. Louboutin?"

―The Down Low

"Wilson: I ran into Nora this morning. She told me about your Evita listening party.
House: The London and New York recordings are so different.
Wilson: You were supposed to tell her that we're straight.
House: She didn't believe me, either."

―The Down Low

"Wilson: She's never gonna fall for it.
House: Well, then, you got nothing to worry about, sweetie."

―The Down Low

"Nora: Is that Greg's Carpenters album or yours?
Wilson: Look, House hates musicals and fashion and meringue. This whole thing is an act designed to earn your trust... in order to sleep with you.
Nora: I get it.
Wilson: Finally.
Nora: You're jealous. You know, if you want to spend more time with Greg, you should just tell him."

―The Down Low

"House: The jealousy is... killing me.
Nora: Well... he clearly cares about you. Very much.
House: Why can't he show it in a – in a normal way? I'm so tired of... the whole silence and the resentment. I don't know if I can go back there tonight. I need some time."

―The Down Low

"Wilson: I love this man. And I am not wasting another moment of my life denying that. Gregory House... will you marry me?
House: Wow. This is unexpected."

―The Down Low

"House: Wilson thought you were cute, and I was just yanking his chain. Maybe that's not the best phrasing."

―The Down Low

"Wilson:
♪♫ One
♪♫ Singular sensation
♪♫ Every little step she takes
House: I will punch you in the face."

―The Down Low