- Emily: "I'm not leaving the business. I'm just leaving you. I didn't want you to feel bad."
- House: "So let me get this straight: I'm being dumped by a hooker who's worried about my feelings?"
- — We Need the Eggs
We Need the Eggs is a 8th season episode of House which first aired on April 16, 2012. House and the team take on the case of a man, Henry, who starts bleeding from his eyes. Meanwhile, House is interviewing for a new favorite hooker as his current favorite, Emily, has decided to get married and leave the business. However, Wilson wants House to concentrate on Dominika instead. Desperate for Emily’s “companionship,” House teams up with Dominika to sabotage Emily’s budding relationship. Meanwhile, Park is considering a new relationship as well (with guest star Patrick Stump).
A young man is out with his neighbor at a fair and they talk about why he’s still seeing his girlfriend as he and his girlfriend don‘t have the same interests. Suddenly the neighbor notices on the man what appears to be tears is actually blood.
Back at PPTH the team tries to do a differential but they’re distracted by a beautiful woman in the room. House explains his current favorite prostitute, Emily, is leaving the business so he’s looking for her replacement. He has five applicants waiting in the hall but House doesn’t like the first one because she can’t make cappuccino. The team gets back to the differential but House is with the next applicant, Fawn. He explains they all will have sex with him so he’s looking for something to keep him entertained for “the other 57 minutes of the hour“. Fawn flunks because she doesn’t have a good reason for liking “Annie Hall”. The team finally settles on lymphocytosis or cavernous sinus thrombosis and House sends them off to do tests.
The neighbor asks the team if cavernous sinus thrombosis is dangerous and Chase reassures her and the patient if the young man has it the chances of success are very good. The neighbor asks the patient if she wants him to call his girlfriend but he doesn’t want to. The team can't reach the girlfriend because she doesn’t have a cell phone as she’s supposedly afraid of radiation.
Park asks Taub if he’s ever used a prostitute to which Taub replies he hasn’t as it’s demeaning to them. Park counters by reminding him about his affairs. A young man comes in to see Park. Park says he’s selling a Gibson guitar but the man informs her he’s already sold it. She thanks him for letting her know and he leaves. Taub says the young man likes Park but she tells him to shut up about it. Taub counters that the young man is coming back. The young man invites her to jam with him and Park says she will think about it. Taub teases her about having a boyfriend and Park threatens to break his face.
Adams comes in with negative tests results and finds House doing a talent competition. House accuses her of wanting in on the competition. She says she’s suspicious of the patient as he really wanted to see his girlfriend but she can’t be reached and none of his neighbors has seen her. House asks one of the competiting prostitutes for an opinion and she responds by saying she thinks the patient is gay. Adams counters by saying she thinks the patient is a drug addict. House orders an environmental scan.
Adams and Chase arrive at the patient’s apartment to find a well maintained home. Adams notes the lack of a feminine touch but Chase finds flowers for the girlfriend. As they discuss House’s prostitutes, the conversation turns to Adams’ lack of a social life. As they enter the bedroom, they see a female on the bed who doesn’t look like she’s breathing. However, when Adams investigates, she realizes it’s not a medical emergency at all.
Dominika is helping House go over the prostitutes’ resumes. Adams calls him with the patient’s big secret— the girlfriend is a lifelike doll.
The patient is trying to explain the “girlfriend” and it becomes clear to Chase and Adams that he isn’t suffering from delusions or a serious mental illness: he just doesn’t make the same emotional attachment to real women. The patient also starts sweating and starts running a fever.
Adams thinks the patient’s attachment to the doll indicates a neurological issue but Chase thinks he’s just weird. House sides with the patient as House knows dealing with relationships is crazy. He also points out that to the same purpose, Taub pays attention to his daughters, Park stays with her parents, Adams does charity work and Chase is a Casanova. Taub counters that House has the same problem as he (House) can’t give up his current favorite prostitute and just move on. House tells the team to test the doll to see if it is carrying an infection.
House is with Emily begging her to stay with him, saying money isn’t a problem. Emily says she’s crazy about her fiance Harris. House thinks the relationship will explode once he finds out about her prostitution but she’s already told her fiancé. House says she needs her independence but Emily, while she sympathizes with House, tells him to get over her. She says she will miss him and kisses him goodbye.
Adams and Chase are swabbing the doll. They discuss what House said. The conversation turns to why Chase hasn’t asked Adams out. They continue to examine the doll and they find a mass in her abdomen that feels like a tumor.
They MRI the doll and find an air-filled mass. House orders them to cut it open after first getting the patient’s consent. The patient agrees even though they won’t be able to repair the damage. Adams goes to cut the doll but Chase convinces her to take it out of the room first because it’s obvious the patient is upset.
House asks Wilson for advice on how to break up Emily’s relationship. Wilson says he is busy. House wonders why the fiance is okay with Emily being a prostitute. Wilson says there are lots of other women out there, including one who already lives in his apartment and is married.. However, this only gives House an idea.
Park tells Adams she shouldn’t sleep with Chase. Adams wonders why she’s so worried about it and wonders if Park is jealous.
Taub is out with one of his daughters shopping when he meets a young woman. Taub makes up a lie that the baby’s mother died in childbirth.
Adams returns the doll to the patient, getting stares from everyone in the hallway in the process. The patient appreciates that Adams used sutures and bandages. Suddenly he has trouble breathing and collapses. Adams calls a code.
House and Dominika spy on Harris. House gets a call saying that the patient has crackling lung sounds but his heart is fine. House explains they plan to have Dominika seduce Harris to break up his relationship with Emily. House presses Park about whether she saw the musician and she makes the excuse that her grandmother needed a ride. House says she’s terrified of dating. When Taub tries to change the subject, House questions him and Taub admits he met someone and he’s going to see her again. Adams finally suggests silicone deposition from exposure to the doll. House agrees to start plasmapheresis.
Adams explains the treatment to the patient when the neighbor returns. The neighbor sees the doll and is impressed with her. However, she thinks it is some sort of medical training tool. Adams realizes the patient is getting uncomfortable so tries to send the neighbor out of the room but the patient wants her to stay. He admits the doll is his girlfriend. The neighbor thinks he’s kidding but he convinces her. She says she has to leave.
Taub is putting his daughter to bed as his new girlfriend watches. Taub finally admits he’s separated and that he panicked when he met her. She asks if it’s a different baby. He lies and says it isn’t but she’s onto him.
The patient is reading the material the neighbor brought him. He starts talking to the doll and she comes over to talk to him. She also starts stripping and asks him to touch her. However, when he does, she starts complaining of pain and starts bleeding. Chase and Adams realize the patient is hallucinating and that he clearly now has neurological symptoms. Adams finds the patient’s abdomen is distended and his hallucinations are caused by his failing liver.
They start a new differential. They start talking about the price of the doll and discover Taub knows what they sell for - about $2,000 less than the patient said. Taub thinks the patient had it customized. House agrees to treat for hepatic fibrosis and tells them to find out how the doll was customized.
Wilson invites House to play foosball but House says he’s busy destroying Emily’s relationship. Wilson says “ooookay” and walks away but this only intrigues House. Wilson says he knows House is going to fail but that it’s good he has some sort of long term relationship that can’t really hurt him. House accuses him of using passive-aggressive reverse psychology on him and walks away.
House and Dominika find Harris and they discuss how to approach him. Dominika sashays over and introduces herself and asks him for sex. He readily agrees. House confronts him. Harris asks what he’s talking about and they realize he’s not Emily’s fiancé. He introduces himself as Emily’s brother.
Adams finds out the doll was modelled on a real woman. The patient tells Adams that he and this model woman dated for seventeen weeks during which his life changed. Adams tells the patient her husband cheated on her with a woman he met on the plane when they were coming back from their honeymoon. The patient explains that the woman just wasn’t in love with him. Adams tells the patient that although the doll won’t break his heart it also won’t change his life. Suddenly the patient vomits and complains of photophobia and a stiff neck. Adams diagnoses meningitis.
Emily admits her deception— she’s still going to be a prostitute; she just doesn’t want to see House anymore and didn’t want to hurt his feelings. She says it’s because Dominika is always in the other room when they have sex and she thinks House is being mean to Dominika. House tries to explain that it‘s an immigration marriage but Emily thinks Dominika has real feelings for House that he’s ignoring, and also ignoring his feelings about Dominika.
The patient continues to get worse. It’s likely he will die before the blood cultures come back. His cerebro-spinal fluid is full of white blood cells. The team starts trying to figure out what kind of infection would explain all the symptoms. Chase focusses on the ex-girlfriend who was a yoga instructor and starts discussing the possibility of the patient using alternative medicine. He remembers a weird teapot at the patient’s house and describes it to House. House draws something on the whiteboard resembling a pot with an oversize spout and Chase agrees with the depiction. House informs the team that the pot is used for pouring water into the sinuses to relieve allergies but if the patient used tap water he could have accidentally introduced an amoebic parasite. House orders metronidazole.
The patient improves quickly and asks Adams for her e-mail so he can ask her out. She politely declines and tells him to ask his neighbor out and to keep trying. He agrees but looks wistfully at the doll.
Park asks Taub if he is going on a date but he shakes his head. She tells him to keep trying but Taub feels like concentrating solely on his daughters. He tells Park to call the musician. Park doesn’t think she’s pretty enough. Taub tells her getting a boyfriend will make Adams jealous.
Chase says goodnight to Adams who asks him if he wants to go out for a drink but Chase thinks the invitation is only to annoy Park or prove House wrong. Adams says she wants a change but Chase declines because he thinks it’s a bad idea for both. They realize has House gotten into their heads.
Park calls her mother to say she’s still at work. However, she’s with the musician and they play guitar together, singing “I Got You, Babe”.
House arrives home and finds a letter from U.S. Citizenship and Immigration. Dominika’s permanent resident status has been approved.
The patient is at home with his doll. He stares at a teddy bear in the corner.
Dominika is making a milkshake. She says she’s sorry that Emily left. House says he thinks he will take a break from prostitutes for a while. He has some of her milkshake and excuses himself to go to bed. He takes Dominika’s letter and tosses it in the trash.
- House’s favorite prostitute Emily announces she is leaving the business but in reality is upset at the way House treats Dominika.
- Park goes on a date with Micah.
- Dominika's permanent resident status is approved but House throws away the notice letter so she will stay with him.
Zebra Factor 3/10Edit
Amoebic meningitis is fairly rare, but is more common in people who perform nasal irrigation.
Trivia and Cultural ReferencesEdit
- The title is a punchline to an old joke about a family member who has a mental illness which makes him think he's a chicken. The title (and punchline) is the answer to the question "why don't you treat him". The joke appears in the movie Annie Hall, which is Fawn’s favorite Woody Allen film. It was also mentioned in the Season 2 episode Failure to Communicate.
- Vampire Bill is a reference to Bill Compton from True Blood.
- The Grandfather paradox is a theory of time travel that considers the possibility that you go back in time to kill your ancestor so there is no possibility you will ever be born. Many physicists point at this as part of a proof that time travel is impossible.
- Cappuccino is a beverage made with hot coffee, hot milk and steamed milk foam.
- Merchant Ivory is a British movie production company, famous for such date friendly film as Howards End and the 2001 production of Henry James’ The Golden Bowl, Allison Cameron's favorite novel.
- More about the Gibson SG.
- Melinda and Melinda is a 2004 Woody Allen film where the same character’s story is told through two different story lines.
- Stephen Hawking was a physicist with a history of failed relationships.
- Never My Love was a #2 hit for The Association in 1967.
- A Knish is a baked or fried dumpling with flaky dough and a filling.
- “Wish upon a star” was a phrase popularized by the song “When You Wish Upon A Star” in the 1940 film Pinnochio.
- Anne Boleyn was the second of Henry VIII’s six wives. He had her executed.
- A “Green card” is proof of permanent resident status in the United States. The card is currently green but was pink for over 40 years (and green again before that). However, Dominika was seeking citizenship and would have received a naturalized citizen card.
- 6 months before this episode aired, two individuals in Louisiana died from amoebic meningitis after inhaling infected tap water while using a neti pot.
- This is the second episode to involve the final diagnosis of Primary amoebic meningoencephalitis. The first occurrence was the Season 2 episode Euphoria.
- I Got You Babe was a #1 hit for Sonny & Cher in 1965 and established them as one of the premiere acts of the 1960s.
- Omar Epps does not appear in this episode.
- Taub's date is named Wendy Jacobson, which is a reference to the real name of Taub's actor, Peter Jacobson.
- The medical plot - Yoga practitioner using special pot for pouring water into the sinuses (from natural well) - was reused in Prima TV (Czech Republic) series Modrý kód (Code Blue) ep. 235 Pravidlo tří (2020). The final diagnosis was abscess of amoebic parasite Balamuthia mandrillaris.
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