- Emily: "I'm not leaving the business. I'm just leaving you. I didn't want you to feel bad."
- House: "So let me get this straight: I'm being dumped by a hooker who's worried about my feelings?"
- — We Need the Eggs
We Need the Eggs is a 8th season episode of House which first aired on April 16, 2012. House and the team take on the case of a man, Henry, who starts tearing up blood. Meanwhile, House is interviewing for a new favorite hooker, since his current favorite, Emily, has decided to get married and leave the business. However, Wilson wants House to concentrate on Dominika instead. Instead, desperate for Emily’s “companionship,” House teams up with Dominika to sabotage Emily’s budding relationship. Meanwhile, Park is considering a new relationship as well (with guest star Patrick Stump).
A young man is out with his neighbor and they are talking about why he’s still seeing his girlfriend when he and his girlfriend don‘t have any of the same interests. All of a sudden, she notices what appears to be tears are actually blood,
The team tries to do a differential, but they’re distracted by a beautiful woman in the room. House explains his current favorite prostitute, Emily, is leaving the business and he’s looking for her replacement. There are five other applicants in the hall. House doesn’t like the first one because she can’t make cappuccino. They get back to the differential, but House is with the next applicant, Fawn. He explains they all will have sex with him, so he’s looking for something to keep him entertained for “the other 57 minutes of the hour“. Fawn flunks because she doesn’t have a good reason for liking “Annie Hall”. They finally settle on lymphocytosis or cavernous sinus thrombosis and House sends the team off to do tests.
The neighbor asks the team if cavernous sinus thrombosis is dangerous, and Chase reassures them if he has it the chances of success are very good. The neighbor asks the patient if she wants him to call his girlfriend, but he doesn’t want her to. They can reach the girlfriend because she doesn’t have a cell phone - she’s afraid of radiation.
Park asks Taub if he’s ever seen a prostitute, but Taub hasn’t because he thinks it’s demeaning to them. Park counters by reminding him about his affairs. A young man comes in to see Park. Park says he’s selling a Gibson guitar, but the man informs her he’s already sold it. She thanks him for letting her know, and he leaves. Taub says the young man likes Park and Park tells him to shut up about it. Taub counters that the young man is coming back. The young man invites her to jam with him, and Park says she will think about it. Taub teases her about having a boyfriend and Park threatens to break his face.
Adams comes in with negative tests results and finds House doing a talent competition. House accuses her of wanting in on the competition. She says she’s suspicious of the patient - he really wants to see his girlfriend, but she can’t be reached and none of his neighbors have ever seen her. House asks one of the competitors, who thinks the patient is gay. Adams counters that she thinks the patient is a drug addict. House orders an environmental scan.
Adams and Chase arrive at the patient’s apartment to find a well maintained home. Adams notes the lack of a feminine touch, but Chase finds flowers for the girlfriend. As they discuss House’s prostitutes, the conversation turns to Adams’ lack of a social life. As they enter the bedroom, they see someone on the bed, but it doesn’t look like she’s breathing. However, when Adams investigates, she realizes it’s not a medical emergency at all.
Dominika is helping House go over the prostitutes’ resumes. Adams calls him with the patient’s big secret - the girlfriend is a lifelike doll of some sort.
The patient is trying to explain the “girlfriend”, and it becomes clear to Chase and Adams that he isn’t suffering from delusions or a serious mental illness - he just doesn’t find the same emotional attachment to real women. The patient also starts sweating and starts running a fever.
Adams thinks the patient’s attachment to the doll indicates a neurological issue, but Chase thinks he’s just weird. House is on the patient’s side - dealing with relationships is crazy. He also points out that, to the same purpose, Taub pays attention to his daughters, Park stays with her parents, Adams does charity work and Chase is a Casanova. Taub counters that House has the same problem - he can’t give up his current favorite prostitute and just move on. House tells the team to test the doll to see if it is carrying an infection.
House is with Emily begging her to stay with him, saying money isn’t a problem. Emily says she’s crazy about her fiance Harris. House thinks the relationship will explode once he finds out about her prostitution, but she’s already told him. House says she needs her own independence, but Emily says that she sympathizes, but he’s got to get over it. She says she will miss him and kisses him goodbye.
Adams and Chase are swabbing the doll. They discuss what House said. The conversation turns to why Chase hasn’t asked Adams out. They continue to examine the doll and they find a mass in her abdomen that feels like a tumor.
They MRI the doll and find an air-filled mass. House orders them to cut it open, but to get the patient’s consent first. The patient agrees even though they won’t be able to repair the damage. Adams goes to cut the doll, but Chase convinces her to take it out of the room first because it’s obvious the patient is upset.
House is asking Wilson for advice on how to break up Emily’s relationship. Wilson says he is busy. House wonders why the fiance is okay with Emily being a prostitute. Wilson says there are lots of other women out there, including one who already lives in his apartment and is married to him. However, this only gives House an idea.
Park tells Adams she shouldn’t sleep with Chase. Adams wonders why she’s so worried about it and wonders if Park is jealous about her.
Taub is out with one of his daughters shopping when he meets a young woman. Taub makes up a lie that the baby’s mother died in childbirth.
Adams returns the doll to the patient, getting stares from everyone in the hallway in the process. The patient appreciates that Adam used sutures and bandages. All of a sudden, he has trouble breathing and collapses. Adams calls a code.
House and Dominika spy on Harris. House gets a call saying that the patient has crackling lung sounds, but his heart is fine. House explains they plan to have Dominika seduce Harris to break up his relationship with Emily. House presses Park about whether she saw the musician and she makes the excuse that her grandmother needed a ride. House says she’s terrified of dating. When Taub tries to change the subject, House questions him and Taub admits he met someone and he’s going to see her again. Adams finally suggests silicone deposition from exposure to the doll. House agrees to start plasmapheresis.
Adams is explaining the treatment to the patient when the neighbor returns. She sees the doll and is impressed with her. However, she thinks it is some sort of medical training tool. Adams realizes the patient is getting uncomfortable and tries to send the neighbor out of the room, but the patient wants her to stay. He admits the doll is his girlfriend. She thinks he’s kidding, but he explains. She says she has to leave.
Taub is putting his daughter to bed as his new girlfriend watches. Taub finally admits he’s separated and that he panicked when he met her. She asks if it’s a different baby. He lies and says it isn’t, but she’s onto him.
The patient is reading the material the neighbor brought him. He starts talking to the doll, and she comes over to talk to him. She also starts stripping and asks him to touch her. However, when he does, she starts complaining of pain and starts bleeding. Chase and Adams realize the patient is hallucinating and that he clearly now has neurological symptoms. Adams finds his abdomen is distended and he is hallucinating because his liver is failing.
They start a new differential. They start talking about the price of the doll, and Taub actually knows what they sell for - about $2,000 less than the patient said. He thinks that the patient had it customized. House agrees to treat for hepatic fibrosis and tells them to find out how the doll was customized.
Wilson invites House to play foosball, but House says he’s busy destroying Emily’s relationship. Wilson says “ooookay” and walks away, but this only intrigues House. Wilson says he knows House is going to fail, but that it’s good he has some sort of long term relationship that can’t really hurt him. House accuses him of using passive-aggressive reverse psychology on him and walks away.
House and Dominika find Harris and they discuss how to approach him. Dominika sashays over and introduces herself and asks him for sex. He readily agrees. House confronts him. Harris asks what he’s talking about, and they realize he’s not Emily’s fiancé. He introduces himself as Emily’s brother.
Adams finds out the doll was modelled after a real woman. He tells her they dated for seventeen weeks, during which his entire life changed. Adams tells the patient her husband cheated on her with a woman he met when he was coming back from their honeymoon. The patient explains that the woman just wasn’t in love with him. Adams tells the patient that although the doll won’t break his heart, it also won’t change his life. All of a sudden, the patient vomits and complains of photophobia and a stiff neck. Adams thinks it is meningitis.
Emily admits her deception - she’s still going to be a prostitute, she just doesn’t want to see House anymore and didn’t want to hurt his feelings. She says it’s because Dominika is always in the other room when they have sex and she thinks House is being mean to Dominika. House tries to explain that it‘s an immigration marriage, but Emily thinks Dominika has real feelings for House that he’s ignoring, and he’s ignoring his feelings about Dominika as well.
The patient continues to get worse. It’s likely he will die before the blood cultures come back. His cerebro-spinal fluid was full of white blood cells. They start trying to figure out what kind of infection would explain all the symptoms. Chase focusses on the ex-girlfriend, who was a yoga instructor and starts discussing the possibility of the patient using alternative medicine. He remembers a weird teapot at the patient’s house and tries describing it to House. House draws something on the whiteboard resembling a pot with an oversize spout and Chase agrees that’s what it looked like. House says it’s used for pouring water into the sinuses to relieve allergies, but if the patient used tap water, he could have accidentally introduced an amoebic parasite. He orders metronidazole.
The patient improves quickly. He asks for Adams’s e-mail so he can ask her out. She politely declines and tells him to ask his neighbor out and to keep trying. He agrees, but looks back at the doll.
Park asks Taub if he is going on a date, but he shakes his head no. Park tells him he has to keep trying, but Taub feels only like concentrating on his daughters. He tells her to call the musician. Park doesn’t think she’s pretty enough. Taub tells her if she gets a boyfriend, it will make Adams jealous.
Chase says goodnight to Adams. Adams asks him if he wants to go out for a drink, but Chase thinks it’s only to either annoy Park or prove House wrong. She says she wants a change, but Chase declines because he thinks it’s a bad idea for both of them. They realize House got into both of their heads.
Park calls her mother to say she’s still at work. However, she’s with the musician. They play guitar together.
House arrives home and finds a letter from U.S. Citizenship and Immigration. Dominika’s citizenship has been approved.
The patient is at home with his doll. He stares at a teddy bear in the corner.
Dominika is making a milkshake. She says she’s sorry that Emily left. House says he thinks he will take a break from prostitutes for a while. He has some of her milkshake and excuses himself to go to bed. He takes Dominika’s letter and tosses it in the trash.
- House’s favorite prostitute Emily announces she is leaving the business, but in reality is upset at the way House treats Dominika.
- Park goes on a date with Micah
- Dominika is approved for citizenship, but House throws away the notice letter so she will stay with him.
Zebra Factor 3/10
Amoebic meningitis is fairly rare, but is more common in people who perform nasal irrigation.
Trivia and Cultural References
- The title is a punchline to an old joke about a family member who has a mental illness which makes him think he's a chicken. The title (and punchline) is the answer to the question "why don't you treat him". The joke appears in the movie Annie Hall, which is Fawn’s favorite Woody Allen film. It was also mentioned in the Season 2 episode Failure to Communicate.
- The Grandfather paradox is a theory of time travel that considers the possibility that you go back in time to kill your own ancestor so there is no possibility you will ever be born. Many physicists point at this as part of a proof that time travel is impossible.
- Cappuccino is a beverage made with hot coffee, hot milk and steamed milk foam
- Merchant Ivory is a British movie production company, famous for such date friendly film as Howards End and the 2001 production of Henry James’ The Golden Bowl, Alison Cameron's favorite novel.
- More about the Gibson SG.
- Melinda and Melinda is a 2004 Woody Allen film where the same character’s story is told through two different story lines.
- Stephen Hawking is a physicist with a history of failed relationships.
- Never My Love was a #2 hit for The Association in 1967.
- A Knish is a baked or fried dumpling with flaky dough and a filling.
- “Wish upon a star” was a phrase popularized by the song “When You Wish Upon A Star” in the 1940 film Pinnochio.
- Anne Boleyn was the second of Henry VIII’s six wives. He had her executed.
- A “Green card” is proof of permanent resident status in the United States. The card is currently green, but was pink for over 40 years (and green again before that). However, Dominika was seeking citizenship and would have received a naturalized citizen card.
- 6 months before this episode aired, two individuals in Louisiana died from amoebic meningitis after inhaling infected tap water while using a neti pot.
- This is another episode to involve the diagnosis of Primary amoebic meningoencephalitis which was the final diagnosis in the Season 2 episode Euphoria.
- I Got You Babe was a #1 hit for Sonny & Cher in 1965 and established them as one of the premiere acts of the 1960s.
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